AWG/AWG: Raise the Floor.
Advice We've Gotten/Advice We've Given is a column where mindset meets mechanics. Practical ways to dismantle the Patriarchy's hold on your pursuit of having your own version of "It All."
Advice We've Gotten: Notice if it seems like you’re always managing your overload, managing your ceiling. If so, maybe there’s another level you can work on that could make a more lasting difference, make those overload moments more manageable.
But - it will be harder work. … Working on your floor means working on the deeper wounds. Mindset: Raise the floor.
Break the ceiling or raise the floor. In today’s edition of AWG/AWG, we’re here to advocate on why raising the floor may be the most radical act of self love; and the thing that may just ‘break the ceiling’ after all.
OK, say more.
Alright, earlier this week we were talking about the elevator of self-doubt we all find ourselves on from time-to-time. One minute you’re in the penthouse, rising to new heights; and the next you’re in the basement, wondering if this dark cave will be your reality evermore.
The highs feel so high; and the lows? They feel so low.
We said aloud, “I don’t want to feel this way anymore.” And then a friend offered back, “Maybe it’s time to raise the floor instead of trying to always break the ceiling.”
Said another way, you get to determine how ‘low’ you’ll go - how poorly you talk to yourself, how harsh your inner critic is allowed to be, how little you value your contributions. In a world that’s constantly broadcasting for us to do more, be more, get more - break the ceiling - it’s nothing short of muscle memory to keep jumping up-up-up.
The problem with always jumping up? Your legs get tired, and eventually you collapse.
“I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”
Anecdote: How might this show up?
Every one of us has a ceiling and a floor. Our ceiling is the boldest version of ourselves - something we’re striving for; and the floor, our harshest inner critic, often what we’re looking to overcome.
The outcome? Living inside a cage of our own making, robbing ourselves of the fulfillment we set out to receive in the first place. This can show up as burnout, disappointment, never feeling enough, inability to celebrate wins, big emotional swings, depression, anxiety, feeling lost…
If you’re there, or know those feelings well, let’s think about - very practically - what it could look like to raise your floor.
We love an analogy, so stick with us here.
You set out to paint a room (your ambition). You start with a tray full of paint and a luxe roller (tools, education). You make sure you buy the very best paint (appearance). You turn on some background music (environment). You even invite a friend over (community). And now to start painting (the journey).
You spend the day, rolling the walls side-to-side, up-and-down - the space becoming more and more full with color (progress). You stand back admiring your work, and see the room coming together (fulfillment).
That’s true for the first six feet. Now you look up, there’s about two feet at the top of the wall that you just can’t reach, no matter how high on your tippy toes you go (doubt, exhaustion). You try hopping a few times, and there are some rogue strokes here and there. You feel tired, and also annoyed, because the room looks ridiculous with two feet unpainted at the top of the room. This whole day was a waste of time (inner critic).
I bet somewhere along reading this, you started thinking, “Why doesn’t she just get a ladder!?” And, THAT is what it is to raise your floor. If you’re not willing to raise the floor - in this case, a ladder - then how can you expect to ever reach the ceiling?
Mechanics: What’s the practice?
Going back to the advice offered to us at the top of the piece, “Working on your floor means working on the deeper wounds.”
And for that, you’ll know you’re ready, because it’s no longer tenable to stay where you are. “I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”
Remember when we said, “Women, trust yourselves.” Well, this is your chance to start practicing just that.
Lately, we’ve been obsessed with understanding more on the tensions between ambition (ceiling) and stability (floor). One striving for something more; the other finding peace in where one already is so that you can actually reach where you want to go.
When done well, they have the potential to create a beautiful, symbiotic relationship. And yet - at least in our own lives - they rarely do.
Today, we (start to) change that.
Step 1 - Name The Floor
Grab a pen and paper. Without overthinking it, when we say, “I don’t want to feel this way anymore,” write down what comes to mind. What do you not want to feel anymore?
Some real examples we heard from Clients earlier this week:
I’m selfish when I take care of myself
I should just be grateful to be here
Who am I want to want more?
I’ve never had money and I never will
If I ask questions, they’ll think I’m unqualified
I have to work on vacation to prove my worth
Step 2 - Get Curious
You’ll likely notice there’s overlap or inner connectivity to the things you just wrote. Perhaps denying yourself from wanting more, an inability to take a non-working vacation, and a fear of asking questions are all versions of, “I have to prove myself in order to be accepted.”
Ask yourself where this came from. Again, don’t overthink it. Just write and take inventory.
Step 3 - Decide to Raise the Floor
We don’t mean to over simplify this, but you get to now decide if you’re going to raise your floor.
What is the foundational belief that you want to release, and what will you replace it with? Some examples you might consider:
Secure your mask first. (self care > everything)
I am enough. (worthiness)
I know my truth, and I will speak it. (self trust and advocacy)
I will call myself what I am. (owning your worth)
Listen and act with my gut. (self trust)
Only do what I am brilliant at. (energy management)
Now, take this new raised floor, and make it visible. Is it a reminder in your phone? Is it your desktop wallpaper? Is it a sticky note you put on your mirror? Is it something you say aloud to yourself every morning in the shower?
Regardless of your method, know that raising your floor is a process and rarely a linear one. There will be relapses, but also rebounds at much faster rates.
Instead, think of this as a compounding exercise; and one that takes time. Good news for you: 2025 is a year dripping in new beginnings, transformation, and deep emotional clarity.
The time to start? Now.